I've lost u already?

He said that...
"I'm not with him anymore & my heart wasn't here, wasn't with him."

May be he was right, may be not.
Just...I can't describe this feeling...
Feel like...I've lost U already.

He asked me," Am I the right one for U?"
I answered him "I dunno."

My answer now is still I dunno...
I never had this feeling for anyone,
He's just like the answer from Allah for my prayers,
It's the 1st time I've feel safe beside someone,
I never really want to live with someone ever, but I always put U in my 'future' dreams,
but
yesterday He said,"I'll make ur laptop alright before I leave!"
BEFORE I LEAVE...!!!
Bang!!!
He shot me with that word...
I've cried...deeply...
not because my new laptop or coz I missed my home BUT coz of his word.
Realize or not...sometimes...He never put me in his 'future' plan.

Then he said loudly to me,:
"I will never marry anyone, anyone...until I marry U or till U say U don't want to marry me, I promise it to U, Is it enough for U?"

It's enough for me...more than enough...more than enough...
but
why I still have feel that I've lost u already?

About girl named Wenny 'the pooh'

"I saw the sadness in your eyes"

Once, someone has told me that words, long time ago...
I almost cried that time, she's the only friend of mine who could read my eyes.

Once, someone brake my heart then she said "U get hurt, don't u?"
She didn't let me eat all my pain alone.
She was my closest friend that time, till she disappeared.
I have no news about her anymore.

Now...
Does anyone see the sadness in my eyes?

I'm getting old

He has taken my 'nude' face...Gosh!
I'm getting old...

Then i saw my face in the mirror
Urgh...
I'm getting old...

The day after tomorrow will be 2009
God!
I'm getting old...

In the next 2 months will be my birthday
So...
I'm getting old...

I have no future planning
(gubrak!) but...
I'm getting old...

I have no money, no place to live
I'm getting old...

I have no faith (that much) to God
I'm getting old...

I have NOTHING
but still...
I'M GETTING OLD...!

December 18th, 2008

lupa...kalo ponakan gw yg lucu, bawel tp dikit cengeng...
"RAFLI DWI ADITYA (fuck u..eh..)FAQIH"
<hehe....sori buat yg ngasih nama ;)>
ber-ulang-tahun...
Moga jadi anak yg baek, sehat, soleh dan pinter...amiiin
I love this kid...!

Puyeeeng

Hari-hari belakangan ini lagi kangen ma rumah...
Pengen balik dan tinggal disana lagi...
Tapi gw bingung...
satu kaki gw dah bener2 ada di indo...
satu kaki lagi terikat disini...

bukan kerjaan yang ng'beratin gw...
walopun ada orang ngomong katanya bos gw ga kan renew my work visa next year dan orang itu malah nawarin kerjaan ma gw...(???)
dan anehnya per desember ini gw malah naek gaji (300 RM)...lumayan...

tapi ada satu cowok yang bener2 ngikat gw dalem banget...
Kadang2 dia bilang wherever u're i will get u, tapi kadang2 dia pengen gw tetep disini & bilang lets we build our live here...

Cape deeeeh...

Dan pagi ini gw baru dapet sms gratis dari 26000 yg biasanya ga penting gitu soal apapun yang berhubungan dengan INDO...kali ini nyangkut di kepala gw...
Soal Fiskal...mulai January on...kalo yg punya NPWP bebas fiskal pergi kemanapun, tapi kalo ga punya harus bayar 2,5 juta utk Udara dan 1 juta utk Laut...(gubrak)...
Skrg gw kerja disini jadi ga harus pake bayar fiskal, tapi kalo gw jadi balik ke Indo dan apabila gw hrs ke LN...harus bayar segede itu??? (Psssssssst, krn gw ga pernah bayar pajak bo...so mana mungkin gw punya NPWP???)...Nanya siapa soal kaya ginian ya? Bodo aaaah...!!!

Tapi jadinya soal fiskal bakal mempengaruhi kelanjutan gw disini aja ato balik ke Indo...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh...kenapa juga cowok gw bukan orang indo, so kepala gw ga kan puyeeeeng mikirinnya...soal kawin dimana, ntr tinggal dimana....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh....

Gw kangeeeen rumahhh....badly!!!

21st December

My elder Sis, t'FIA Ulang Taon hari ini...
Semoga di usia yang sekarang,
Hidupnya akan lebih bahagia dan Dewasa...

Dari jauh...selalu do'aku menyertaimu...

Love U sis...

December 21st, 2008

Finally...
My very best friend, My BFF...



get married 2day =)
Unfortunately i couldn't come to her wedding...
I was there for some of wedding preparation, hunting for shoes, boxes for 'mas kawin' & some small matters...
I designed wedding dress for her,

but her colleague already designed for her =(
Anyways...
Feel weird...when I realize that she's not single anymore & i'm still single...
Just curious...
when will be my time???
& will she still be in indonesia when i decide to move to indo again? coz her husband is UK citizen & he will take her to live in London...
& will we still have the time to spend together like before???
When we were still roommate, Jakarta-Bandung made us apart then Bandung-Jakarta...Now Bandung-Kuala Lumpur...
She's still the best friend of mine...
She's the one who knew me very well & always be there for me...
...
I pray for her from the distance
Wish she will always be happy with all the thing in her life...

Quote of the day

It is not the great temptations that ruin us,
it is the little ones.
(John W. DeForest)

Recently

I'm too sensitive or what???

Malam itu...

I made surprise celebrate for his b'day...
(inspired from movie 'sex & the city')

PS: He don't like cake but chocolate banana cake from secret recipe, he like it!

Smile face

Last nite, I had dinner in Indian Resto (they called 'Mama House')
...
While we were eating...
We saw smile face...shape from moon & stars...
Subhanallah...
How great Allah!!!



but...
unfortunately
...
I coundn't take picture nicely with N90 Nokia...
...
How lucky i am coz i saw the greatness from God power...
Look like that "smile face"...smiling to us...
God Bless Us!

12 Azar

it's 2nd B-day...(I'm with U)
Nothing special today
coz U have 2 meeting till late of nite
...
but i Wish...
Everything u wish for...will be granted...
& All of our prayers...will come true...
...


( I made it in fluff(friend) facebook )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!!
Hope in this age, u'll be more wiser than before...
Happy Birthday
...
3^__^3

Song of the day...!!!

this song boost up my spirit!!!
Hear this song...symphony version...really feel damn good...

Nothing Else Matters
by: Metallica

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters

Kejadian lagi

Semalam...
Gw ma cowok gw nemenin temen serumah gw, dia mo ngejemput cowoknya yg balik dari S'pore di Pudu raya terminal...
Cowok gw dari awal males bgt nemenin...
Dia bilang..."Just let him to take a cab...."
...
Gw setuju nemenin dia coz :
- Dia baru kali ini pergi nyetir ke jalan2 utama yg padet ma mobil
- Dia ga tauk jalan & cowok gw tauk so gw ngajak dia
- Gw ga tega liat dia malem2 jalan...gimana kalo mogok? gimana kalo ada perampok?
...
Akhirnya qt nemenin, cukup lama nunggu skitar 30 menit lebih...
...
tauk2...
Ada orang ngegedor belakang mobil & ternyata cowoknya temen gw...
krn ga dibuka2...dia ngegedor lebih kuat...
pas akhirnya kebuka...dia ngomong dgn intonasi tinggi...ga jelas ngomong apa krn mereka ngomong pake bhs cantonese...
...
begitu masuk mobil, ga basa basi, langsung duduk...
dan perjalanan cukup memakan waktu selama 30 menit & cowok gw nunjukin jalan...
ngomong dong..."how r u" or "something"...
or Just say "HI"...susah gitu???
...
My bf get offended!!!
...
Kita ngorbanin "our plan" to shop some foods stuff in Jusco to accompany her...
& her Bf...treat us like that???
...
He don't even give us the face...what a life...
is it called friend???
...
Last nite, my bf didnt even say gud bye to them or even smile to them after that...
but...
They don't even notice it or feel bad about that...
...
What a wonderful life!!!
They don't feel it at all!!!

Huh!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh...
Mau gw apa sih sebenernya...
????????

Bete

Ma temen satu rumah...
...
Ceritanya untuk masak, qt mo sharing, gw pikir cuman gas-nya doang, qt patungan krn qt pake...eh...salah seorang dari 2 orang itu beli kompor (kalo nanti qt pisah dia yg ambil) tapi minta uang udunan dari yang laen...Aneh bgt...dimana ada yg kaya gitu...gw complain dong...eh, cerita akhirnya berganti...uang itu jadi untuk deposit, jadi kalo qt pindah, uang dikembaliin...
gubrak!!!
Nah lho!...kalo kaya gitu knp ga usah aja sekalian...ntar kan dia repot sendiri harus ngembaliin uang deposit...lucu bgt...
Selama 3 taon gw serumah ma Crystal dulu...perasaan ga pernah ada masalah kaya gini, barang dia gw pinjem dia ok, barang gw dia pinjem juga ga da masalah...
...
Temen serumah skrg...really counting...Itungan gila...
my bff said," Coz they never find a trully friend.."
I agreed with that...coz i have a true friends & i never feel "rugi" to give them anything or to care about them...or anyone who need it...

U dont have to be true friend to sharing something...
if u feel they re ur friends...
u will share everything u have (except bf) without counting...
& poor them who never feel that way...

...
"TRUE FRIEND HARD TO FIND"
...
N I'm damn sure, I don't have one in KL...(except my love offcourse)

Hari itu...

Sept 29th, 2008

Karena delay, flight qt yang harusnya jam 11.45 am jadi jam 16.45 pm, dikit bete krn gw pengen cepet2 k'temu keluarga gw...naek airasia krn hanya airasia yg nyampe Bandung, lebih deket ke Tasik.

He was surprised by himself kalo dia bakal ke indo ketemu ma keluarga gw.
Yang lucu dia bilang :"It was the worst flight ever & the worst airplane" (waktu dia liat 'perekat' disalah satu bagian di dalam badan pesawat...& katanya pilot yg ngemudiinnya ga smooth)...Huahahaha...but...itulah dia, my love apapun jadi lucu kalo dia yg ngomong.

Nyampe Husein Sastra Negara, langsung ke VOA (Visa On Arrival) & bayar 25$ ato Rp 250.000,-

Begitu keluar, Papap,Mamah, My aunty & Uncle udha nungguin...Ucapan pertama yg gw denger waktu mereka ngeliat 'my love'..."Ganteeeng...!" (dari mulut my aunty)...dan gw hanya nyengir & just ngenalin 'my love' ke mereka, dan kita langsung cabut untuk buka puasa.

Mamah ngasih teh kotak untuk ngebatalin dulu...eh...

my love bilang:"what is this shit??? taste like shit!!"
...huahaha....
gw blng:"this is tea"
my love bilang:"I know, but taste was very bad"
gw bilang:"It's fine to me"

akhirnya dia minum aqua aja & kebetulan dia bawa sandwich yg isinya 'olahan antara kurma & telor', semua orang nyobain dan suka, gw aja yg ga suka ternyata.

Gw liat Papap gw, udah keliatan lebih tua,
my love bilang:"Stay here, do'nt go back, u have 2 take care of ur parent"

Trs malem belon dilewatin...baru keluar dari restoran...
my love bilang:"Shit, very crowded, don't stay here, this country's not good at all for living..."

So I know, dia ga suka Indoneisa.

Sebuah nama...

Tiba-tiba terlintas...
Kemana dia sekarang? Dimana dia?
She's my close friend before, even i was the one who came to her wedding when they were all had many reasons...to not to come.
I was there for her, when she was broken heart.
Where r u, gal???
Where r u NESSA EVA GHANI ???


I missed her
...
Wherever she is...Hope She is fine & have a great life!

Nove 12nd, 2008

Waiting for delivery...
Buy new closet,
realize that I have a lot of stuff in my room,
Actually I took 2 luggage...full with clothes, last time i went back home...
Still...
1 Closet isn't enough for my clothes...



PS: u/ Ulan, belon ada waktu nulis ttg aku & dia selama di indo :)

So Beautiful

Whether I'm right or wrong
There's no phrase that hits
Like an ocean needs the sand
Or a dirty old shoe that fits
And if all the world was perfect
I would only ever want to see your scars
You know they can have their universe
We'll be in the dirt designing stars

And darlin' you know
You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I wanna be
You make me feel so beautiful

Whether I'm up or down
There's no crowd to please
I'm like a faith without a clause to believe in it
And if all the world was smiling
I would only ever want to see your frown
You know they can sail away in sunsets
We'll be right here stranded on the ground
Just happy to be found

You make me feel so beautiful
Nowhere else in the world I wanna be
You make me feel so beautiful

I have lost my illusions
I have drowned in your words
I have left my confusion to a cynical world
I am throwing myself at things I don't understand
Discover enlightenment holding your hand

You are..
So Beautiful

Yeah darlin' you know!
That you make me feel so beautiful nowhere else in the world i wanna be
Yeah you made me feel so beautiful

Blank

Bener-bener membosankan...
Flaaaaaaaaat bgt...



No excitement...
No satisfaction...
No Nothing...

Blank!!

Back to KL...&...

Mean...
Back to work...
Back to 'bored' life...
Not bcoz i don't like my job, actually I love my job
but...I don't have passion anymore...
may be coz people around me & 'weird' situation i got...
.....
When i was in my country,
I met my ex boss & he told me something which very important about my job & my life...
He's right...
but...
Why am I still here???
......
Another story...
Some1 offered me a job...
more bucks, more enjoyment, more satisfaction...(promises...!!!)
Still thinking???

Alhamdullilah

I'm gonna fly to my homeland Indonesia on monday, Sept 29th 2008
with my man
But many things happen which will make my man isn't possible to go.
His visa will expired on Sept 27th, but our ticket is Sept 29th.
many options what we have to do:
1. Change our ticket but take more money for that
2. He won't go
3. He will try so hard by himself to make visa just for 2 weeks (its impossible, usually take for 1-2 month)
.........pfuh!

Alhamdulillah
God help us...
He called M'sia embassy then they asked him to go to enforcement dept.
Then...He went there yesterday...with a bit shocking thing coz he thought he lost his passport but Thanks God...he didn't.
& He got permitted to stay in this country until end of the next month.
........
Alhamdulillahi robbil'alamiin...Gos is very Merciful...
........
Insya Allah we gonna fly to my homeland on Monday
^_*

It's sweet

I open my yahoo 360...
N I got comment from Sadegh's sisters, Leyla & Kosar...
We never meet, we just talked by phone...
but...
Really, they're so sweet & kind...
They words...really touched me...somehow...made my a lil tear fell in...
May be I never meet them but i know i already love them...
Hope we will meet soon...
^__^

Shifting

SHIFTING AGAIN!!!
I hate shifting...
Gw baru aja aja shifting 9 bulan lalu...skrg harus shifting lagi...dan yg bikin dikit bete...
with the same price, but new apartment...don't have furniture & water heater...
what the f**k??
Dan yg bikin kesel, we shifted while I & my bf were fasting...
Sure they & their bf weren't fasting at all coz they re not muslim.
But...
Sumpah...
ngeliat cold mineral water...made me very thirsty like hell...
& I was so exhausted that day...
bener2 have no power...
sampe pas buka puasa, makan pun males, hanya minum sebanyak2nya...
Biasanya gw ga suka buka puasa pake minuman dingin ber-ice...
tapi saat itu...minum TO ais limau (ini sejenis minuman kaya lemon tea tapi lemon di ganti ma lime) ...terasa bener2 segeeeeeeeer bgt...sampe sekali nyedot langsung setengah gelas...
....
Anyway, talking about my new room, i took master room with bathroom inside...& the wooden floor remind me with my 1st room when i was here in KL...so I didnt feel strange with it but... craps...i forget to buy 'gorden'...so i put 2 pieces my beach fabric...Magenta & stripe orange-magenta as gorden...hihi...bodo ah...lagian mungkin setelah gw balik ke indo, ada kemungkinan gw ga balik lg kesini...

PS: Thanks Sadegh...U helped me a lot for everything, Love U!

Sambal Goreng Kentang

Hari ke-19 Puasa,

Dua hari lalu masak sayur sop,
berhubung bahan2nya terbatas jadi cuman:
-Ayam
-Wortel
-Kol
-Bawang daun
-Seledri
Niatnya sih pengen tambah macaroni, tapi di toko deket2 kebetulan ga jualan, gw males pergi ke Coco Mart...sebenernya deket tapi jauh... :p maklum males jalan agak jauhan dikit.
Dan walo bahannya pas2an..tapi sumpah...enaaak bgt rasanya, dah lama juga ga makan sayur sop.
...
Anyway,
Today, ga tauk kenapa, kok gw ngidam ma Sambal goreng kentang,
Secara gw dah ampir setaon ga makan, ato bahkan 2 taon or 3 taon, krn pas gw balik mudik ke indo, perasaan nyokap gw pun ga masak Sambal goreng kentang sekalipun,
secara nyokap gw tauk, sambal goreng kentang bukan makanan favorit gw...
tapi...
Kenapa hari ini gw ngiler banget ma sambal goreng kentang???


.......
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh
Wish, I was in Indo, i will ask my mom to cook it for me...
or may be i have 2 learn how to make 'Sambal Goreng Kentang'.
........
Promise,
If i get my homeland, I will cook it.
......

PS: Mom.......Wish U were here!

September 17th,2008

It's my 'Papap' Birthday...
But unfortunately I wasn't there to celebrate it...
I want to see his happy face when we sing the B'day's song
...
Anyway, I wish he will always happy in the rest of his life
...
Beside, I just have my parent now
coz last month, I lost my last Grandfa
& another unfortunately I couldn't come to say last regard for him...

PS: I love U Pap ^_^

Breakfast at Persian Resto

Sunday, Sept 7th 2008
He took me for breakfast to 'Naab' Resto, in Jl Bukit Bintang KL,Persian Resto, Buffet...


It was nice,
Nice place...
Nice accompany...
Nice food...


(It's Persian Tea)

Before, he always talk about how nice the persian foods, & introduced me some of the foods with brought to me some of them...He's nice, isn't it?
'The kebab'...this resto serve lamb kebab ( usually I don't like lamb coz of the smell) but this lamb kebab...was really nice, not smell at all.




i dunno all of the name of the foods but i knew 1...this food is Kofta...I knew it coz he told me b4 & his bxxt...looks like kofta huaahaaha....
'Kofta' is a kind like meatball...but this meatball...Best meatball ever...Really delicious...
n...that evening... I had a good time!!!
Thank u, Love...

what's wrong?

Resah...
ga tauk kenapa...
........
aneh...
Gw kirim IM ma my bff
tapi ga jawab...
Mengapa???
Atau ini ada hubungannya ma yg dia tulis beberapa hari yang lalu...
"Where did he take my best friend? i dunno her anymore"
apakah itu ditujukan untuk gw??
Kenapa???
Apa yang berubah dgn gw?
........
Kemaren2 gw sempet ga enak hati, krn dia keep telling me that my bf isn't what i think...
but...
she dunno him, she dont even meet him yet...
she gave me negative thinking about him...
i offended...yes i am...
coz...
I am happy right now &
I dont want something that i dont even know it's right or not...will destroy my happiness...
Am I wrong?
........
but i dont want our friendship destroy coz such a silly thought...
what should i do?

the way he looked at me

Lastnite
I asked him about his plan 4 us...
I saw his eyes while he talked
n his eyes...not looking at me
but looking at around
His eyes should be looking at me deeply to convince me
but
his eyes didn't convince me at all
n i was deeply sad about that
...
Eyes are the window to the heart
isn't it?
...
the way he looked at me...
it's not what i expected...
...
I do
I feel the love from U everytime u were around me
but
what happen with ur eyes???
n that eyes...keep dancing in my mind!!!
...
God,
U're the only one who know what happen rite now & will happen...
pls show me the way...
U know...how i feel about him...
If he is for me...
convince me with ur way...
If he isn't for me...
show me the way what i have to do...
bcoz nobody can help me except U...


PS: If i say I LOVE U, is it worth for u?

Apa yg harus gw percaya???

Ketika gw ngerasa gw nemuin s'seorang yg begitu peduli ma gw, begitu m'cintai gw...(coz i feel it)
Tapi mengapa???
Sahabat yg paling dekat dg gw blng "he's not like what u thought".
Dia blng gw buta, gw ga ngeliat apa yg dia liat...
Tuhan,
kalo semua yg dia buat untuk gw semuanya adalah boong...
Lalu apa yg harus gw percaya lagi???
Dan kenapa sahabat gw yg walopun ga pernah sekalipun ketemu ma cowo gw, tp 99,8% dia yakin kalo cowok yg selama ini be with me...bermain sandiwara dan punya skenario sendiri...bahwa cepat ato lambat dia akan ninggalin gw???
Kenapa dia begitu yakin???
Apa yg sahabat gw liat tapi ga gw liat??
Bagaimana kalo yg dia pikir ttg cowo gw itu betul???
Apa yg harus gw buat???
& Bagaimana kalo yg dia pikir itu salah???
Haruskan gw ngorbanin cinta yg ga mungkin gw dapet lg hanya karena pikiran bodoh dari temen terdekat gw???
Tuhan...
APa yg harus gw buat??
Dan apa yang harus gw percaya???

About U, ME & US

Lastnite we talked a lot...
about us
about our parent
about our family
about our culture
and
about our (will be) wedding

Talk about the last one made our head head-ache
ternyata...
bahkan untuk mikirin aja ttg perkawinan antar bangsa bikin kepala pusing 7 keliling...
many question in our mind...
the question end with..."Where we will carry out our wedding?"

It's easy 2 just thinking but it wasn't that easy...
Sometime i gave up...& feeling really sad...coz...
Finally i had someone who really love me & i love him in return...but
wasn't that easy 2 make us to be together forever...

God! Just Help me...
Help us!...


PS: I LOVE U my one & only

TV

My best friend since i lived in this country...
which always accompany me when nobody want to accompany me...was dead!!!
Aaaaaaaaaagh...
My TV, dunno why, without any reason...couldn't ON...!!!
& this TV's out of order when I'll really need it...
the whole of June...coz
EURO'08 will come soon
& I was so damn waiting for that!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh...
Huhuhuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuu...

dan...lagi...

Hari ini,
Tuhan m'beriku cinta yang indah
Kemaren juga,
dan kemaren juga...dan
Kemaren saat akhirnya aku m'nemukanmu

Cinta ini begitu indah
dan begitu sempurna

Tuhan,
akankah aku masih m'miliki cinta ini besok?
besoknya lagi...?
dan besoknya lagi...
dan besoknya lagi...
dan besoknya lagi...
dan besoknya lagi...
dan besoknya lagi...
???

PS: I LOVE U

Lastnite

Lastnite

U said:
"Cinta tidak untuk diucapkan,
tapi untuk diungkapkan dengan perbuatan"

:)
I know that,
n I know U
I thankful for that

PS: I Love U (bcoz its me) :)

U're

U got back home
...
I was so happy coz i can hug u nicely, kiss U smoothly.
But...
watching U was so happy coz u can came back home is the best thing 4 me,
saw the happy smile on ur face, ur naughty eyes is everything...
What is the best thing unless watching the one who U love being happy.
...
'N 4 many reason
I LOVE U!
U're my one & only
U're my breath
U're my life
U're my happiness
U're everything
...
I LOVE U James!

I love U

21st April 2008,
U got accident,
N I was so damn worried,
then I met U in hospital,
my worry increased
...
looked at ur tired face,
ur dirty body with blood everywhere...
______
I wanna cry
but I knew he would be more fucked up if i had cry
...
I tried so hard 2 be tough
but sumtime i tried 2 wink my eyes
just dun want my tear fell down
...
With my worry's face
I look at U
U said dun worried, i'm fine.
...
I keep telling U that
U'll be OK, U'll be FINE
but
I keep said that 4 me too...
...
_______________...
Now,
U're doing operation
but b4 U keep telling me that
...
if God want it happen, it will be happen
...
So I surrender 2 God about U
but God know
...
I love U so much
I will always love U
No matter happen
& I know...U will be fine!

...

U said 2 me
U won't cry 4 nothing
U just cried 4 ur God & ur sin
...
Lastnite
U cried 4 my feeling
U cried 4 my sadness
U cried 4 my tears
...
However
how much u have love 4 me
but
still i dunno
how much u want me
2 keep me beside u
...

How 'bout mine?

U're really a great guy
when u care 'bout their feeling
but
how 'bout mine?
my feeling??
____

ps:I have 2 deal with this feeling

March 20th

To: Adil

Happy B'day bro...
Wish the best 4 ur life...
Miss U...

in da' name of luv

In da' name of luv
I do anything 4 u
but why...
i feel gloomy
'n
u took away my day
when u said ur soul was tearing apart
now
my heart is falling apart

i need u
i need ur hug
but
u need me more
u need my hug more
____

in da' name of luv
am here 4 u
...
'n i do anything 4 u

Cry

Everytime i watched movie...gud bye scene...
I was always crying so badly...
I put myself on them,
coz exactly...someday, may be soon...
i will be in that situation,
cut me like a knife...
hurt...



but i want when that time come...
i won't cry...!

Rain

I woke up this morning...
I felt the coldness coz it was raining morning...
Perfect weather 4 sleep...


I love rain...
Rain brings out many feeling 4 me...


I can see the beautiful things...even with blitz n storm...still beautiful...


Tomatoes looks fresh with pouring rain...beautiful...


the beautiful thing when rain comes...i can see on leaves...


Red rose is beautiful...& rain made it more beautiful...Gorgeous!!!


Raindrops on the ground...splash ur heart with freshness...




But some raindrops made u feel alone & lonely...
Sometime rain brings the sadness...


Sometime rain make u scary too...


When i was kid...I like 2 play in the rain...just playing...made me happy...


But no matter what...no matter rain comes in the day...Life still go on...U still have 2 go wherever u have 2...




Some people...they have 2 struggling in the raining day...for their life...


But if i heard wording of "RAIN"
I'll never 4get about a 'cool' guy from korea
He's movie star & Singer also...
even he've been make colaboration with Christina Aguilera...
He is RAIN...

I hate this feeling

I never trust any men in my life...
Until I met U...




But if talking about other girls...
Why i have 2 got that damn feeling...
I hate if i have jealous in my heart...
Why I have 2 be jealous???
May be coz i dun want 2 lose U...

In the end...
I will lose u anyway...
even not bcoz other girls...but U will leave me 4 ...i dunno...coz until now i still dun get that...

I want 2 believe what u said about what i will face in the future if we will be together...but...we're just human being...not God...
How if God have different mind with U???

U just have ur thought...
How about mine??
Have u ever think about that???

my fave's food

There are 3 of my favorite's food in indonesia...


1st is Bakso...
Actually its meatball but we called that bakso...former...I eaten bakso almost everyday...Best bakso ever is in my hometown, Tasikmalaya..."bakso bangkit"...yummy...


2nd is Mie Kocok...
its big noodle with touge & skin of beef leg...& this food just can find in Bandung...& Best Mie kocok ever is..."Mie Kocok jalan banteng"...so if u visit bandung...dun 4get 2 try this food...


3rd is Siomay...
Many kind of siomay...ordinary mix with tau-hu, paria vegetable & kubis...then put some peanut salty sauce...a bit spicy...very gud food...
Siomay can find in everywhere in javanese island...specially west java...but bandung still the best place 4 siomay...

I wrote about that food coz rite now im really hungry & suddenly missed those food...
Hope...I can eat those food on april...

PS:.....Lapaaaaar banget sih....

Wonderfull new year's eve

It was 9 days ago but i still feel it till now...
I dun have 2 go out 2 get have fun...
I dun have 2 chill out with frens 2 get warm...
I dun have 2 watch firework 2 saw beautiful things...
I got everything at home with U beside me...
I got have fun with ur smile...
I got warn in ur arms...
I saw beautiful things when i saw u...

That nite...11.30pm...
U wore Black Shirt...I wore Black dress...
We dance...with Careless whisper as background music...
Then i really feel U...
Have u in my heart, my arms & my soul...
Having U is wonderful things...
Thank U God!