I've lost u already?

He said that...
"I'm not with him anymore & my heart wasn't here, wasn't with him."

May be he was right, may be not.
Just...I can't describe this feeling...
Feel like...I've lost U already.

He asked me," Am I the right one for U?"
I answered him "I dunno."

My answer now is still I dunno...
I never had this feeling for anyone,
He's just like the answer from Allah for my prayers,
It's the 1st time I've feel safe beside someone,
I never really want to live with someone ever, but I always put U in my 'future' dreams,
but
yesterday He said,"I'll make ur laptop alright before I leave!"
BEFORE I LEAVE...!!!
Bang!!!
He shot me with that word...
I've cried...deeply...
not because my new laptop or coz I missed my home BUT coz of his word.
Realize or not...sometimes...He never put me in his 'future' plan.

Then he said loudly to me,:
"I will never marry anyone, anyone...until I marry U or till U say U don't want to marry me, I promise it to U, Is it enough for U?"

It's enough for me...more than enough...more than enough...
but
why I still have feel that I've lost u already?

About girl named Wenny 'the pooh'

"I saw the sadness in your eyes"

Once, someone has told me that words, long time ago...
I almost cried that time, she's the only friend of mine who could read my eyes.

Once, someone brake my heart then she said "U get hurt, don't u?"
She didn't let me eat all my pain alone.
She was my closest friend that time, till she disappeared.
I have no news about her anymore.

Now...
Does anyone see the sadness in my eyes?

I'm getting old

He has taken my 'nude' face...Gosh!
I'm getting old...

Then i saw my face in the mirror
Urgh...
I'm getting old...

The day after tomorrow will be 2009
God!
I'm getting old...

In the next 2 months will be my birthday
So...
I'm getting old...

I have no future planning
(gubrak!) but...
I'm getting old...

I have no money, no place to live
I'm getting old...

I have no faith (that much) to God
I'm getting old...

I have NOTHING
but still...
I'M GETTING OLD...!

December 18th, 2008

lupa...kalo ponakan gw yg lucu, bawel tp dikit cengeng...
"RAFLI DWI ADITYA (fuck u..eh..)FAQIH"
<hehe....sori buat yg ngasih nama ;)>
ber-ulang-tahun...
Moga jadi anak yg baek, sehat, soleh dan pinter...amiiin
I love this kid...!

Puyeeeng

Hari-hari belakangan ini lagi kangen ma rumah...
Pengen balik dan tinggal disana lagi...
Tapi gw bingung...
satu kaki gw dah bener2 ada di indo...
satu kaki lagi terikat disini...

bukan kerjaan yang ng'beratin gw...
walopun ada orang ngomong katanya bos gw ga kan renew my work visa next year dan orang itu malah nawarin kerjaan ma gw...(???)
dan anehnya per desember ini gw malah naek gaji (300 RM)...lumayan...

tapi ada satu cowok yang bener2 ngikat gw dalem banget...
Kadang2 dia bilang wherever u're i will get u, tapi kadang2 dia pengen gw tetep disini & bilang lets we build our live here...

Cape deeeeh...

Dan pagi ini gw baru dapet sms gratis dari 26000 yg biasanya ga penting gitu soal apapun yang berhubungan dengan INDO...kali ini nyangkut di kepala gw...
Soal Fiskal...mulai January on...kalo yg punya NPWP bebas fiskal pergi kemanapun, tapi kalo ga punya harus bayar 2,5 juta utk Udara dan 1 juta utk Laut...(gubrak)...
Skrg gw kerja disini jadi ga harus pake bayar fiskal, tapi kalo gw jadi balik ke Indo dan apabila gw hrs ke LN...harus bayar segede itu??? (Psssssssst, krn gw ga pernah bayar pajak bo...so mana mungkin gw punya NPWP???)...Nanya siapa soal kaya ginian ya? Bodo aaaah...!!!

Tapi jadinya soal fiskal bakal mempengaruhi kelanjutan gw disini aja ato balik ke Indo...
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh...kenapa juga cowok gw bukan orang indo, so kepala gw ga kan puyeeeeng mikirinnya...soal kawin dimana, ntr tinggal dimana....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh....

Gw kangeeeen rumahhh....badly!!!

21st December

My elder Sis, t'FIA Ulang Taon hari ini...
Semoga di usia yang sekarang,
Hidupnya akan lebih bahagia dan Dewasa...

Dari jauh...selalu do'aku menyertaimu...

Love U sis...

December 21st, 2008

Finally...
My very best friend, My BFF...



get married 2day =)
Unfortunately i couldn't come to her wedding...
I was there for some of wedding preparation, hunting for shoes, boxes for 'mas kawin' & some small matters...
I designed wedding dress for her,

but her colleague already designed for her =(
Anyways...
Feel weird...when I realize that she's not single anymore & i'm still single...
Just curious...
when will be my time???
& will she still be in indonesia when i decide to move to indo again? coz her husband is UK citizen & he will take her to live in London...
& will we still have the time to spend together like before???
When we were still roommate, Jakarta-Bandung made us apart then Bandung-Jakarta...Now Bandung-Kuala Lumpur...
She's still the best friend of mine...
She's the one who knew me very well & always be there for me...
...
I pray for her from the distance
Wish she will always be happy with all the thing in her life...

Quote of the day

It is not the great temptations that ruin us,
it is the little ones.
(John W. DeForest)

Recently

I'm too sensitive or what???

Malam itu...

I made surprise celebrate for his b'day...
(inspired from movie 'sex & the city')

PS: He don't like cake but chocolate banana cake from secret recipe, he like it!

Smile face

Last nite, I had dinner in Indian Resto (they called 'Mama House')
...
While we were eating...
We saw smile face...shape from moon & stars...
Subhanallah...
How great Allah!!!



but...
unfortunately
...
I coundn't take picture nicely with N90 Nokia...
...
How lucky i am coz i saw the greatness from God power...
Look like that "smile face"...smiling to us...
God Bless Us!

12 Azar

it's 2nd B-day...(I'm with U)
Nothing special today
coz U have 2 meeting till late of nite
...
but i Wish...
Everything u wish for...will be granted...
& All of our prayers...will come true...
...


( I made it in fluff(friend) facebook )

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVE!!
Hope in this age, u'll be more wiser than before...
Happy Birthday
...
3^__^3

Song of the day...!!!

this song boost up my spirit!!!
Hear this song...symphony version...really feel damn good...

Nothing Else Matters
by: Metallica

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know

Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters

Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters

Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know

So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters